Some car-bores will have you believe that there is no such thing as a 'bad car' any more. They're talking rubbish.
They might say that no current car manufacturer builds a car as bad as the Lada Riva or the FSO Polonez, and they'd be right; however, they're missing the point entirely. Just because it's impossible to buy a car that bad in this day and age, it doesn't mean that there aren't some absolute shockers on the market.
So, to help you steer clear of the worst cars currently on sale, we've compiled a list of ten of them. We've tried to only include one car from each manufacturer for the sake of balance -- it would be all too easy to write a list populated entirely by Protons and Peroduas -- and we've included some expensive cars that just aren't worth the money.
Take a look, and if you're mad enough to actually want to buy any of these dreadful motors, just click the links to find out information on the cars.
Cadillac EscaladeThe Cadillac Escalade is a terrible car. There are only two reasons for even considering spending over £60k on this steaming pile of American horse dung: 1. You accidentally gave yourself a frontal lobotomy as a child and are now incapable of coherent thought. 2. You think Fifty 'Fiddy' Cent is an arbiter of taste, rather than a talentless waste of human skin. |
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Jeep Grand CherokeeDear Deirdre: I'm looking for a large 4x4 and have around £40,000 to spend. I have considered a Land Rover Discovery, a BMW X3 and an entry-level Porsche Cayenne but have decided that they are all just a little too accomplished and well-made for my tastes. Can you recommend an alternative which offers a harsh ride, poor levels of refinement and a lack of interior quality? |
MG6MG's transformation has been stunning. In just a couple of years, it has gone from being "that company that used to make crap cars" to "that company that makes crap cars." The MG 6 is about as convincing a rival to the VW Golf as a Flymo hover-mower. It's no wonder we don't have a car industry any more when this is the best that we can do. |
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Perodua MyviWe came up with a list of things we'd rather have than a Perodua Myvi; however, the list is so long it won't actually fit on the internet. So here's a truncated version of said list: "Things that are better than a Myvi"
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Proton Satria NeoMalaysia's finest. The Satria Neo is, like the Fiat 500, a trip down memory lane. However, while the 500 is intentionally retro, the Satria Neo just reminds us what it was like to drive a cheap hatchback during the 1990s. The Proton is at least ten years past its sell-by date. |
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Ssangyong RodiusAaargh, my eyes! What Ssangyong were thinking of here is anyone's guess; it must be one of the most hideous cars ever made. And it's not as if the Rodius's ugly looks conceal a great personality -- it's slow, noisy, uncomfortable and badly built, and on top of this it lacks the basic safety features which we take for granted on family cars these days. |
Suzuki JimnyThe Suzuki Jimny has been around since 1998 -- the year B*Witched got to number one with 'C'est La Vie'. Thankfully, the world has moved on since those dark days; the Jimny, however, has not. |
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Mercedes VianoDon't listen to the salesman-- the Viano is an expensive Transit with windows. Mercedes might try and convince you that the Viano is a 'people carrier', but don't be fooled. Plus, a Routemaster bus is technically a 'people carrier' and, let's face it, it's not going to work as a practical family car. |
Kia SedonaKia makes some pretty good cars these days. This isn't one of them. |
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Lamborghini AventadorHaha, you weren't expecting that! But rest assured there is method in our madness. The Aventador is absolutely useless -- it's not practical, it drinks petrol, and driving it through a small town is like trying to get an oil tanker up the Grand Union Canal. But, and this is a big but, we want one more than almost anything else in the world. |
So there you have it. Take a look at our list of the ten best cars on sale today.
