We love Christmas cracker jokes here at BuyYourCar.
So to get you in the festive mood, we've compiled a list of motoring-themed Christmas cracker gags. We apologise in advance for the quality of some of them.
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I start a new job at Hyundai tomorrow.
I figured it was a good Korea move. |
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I'm sick of average speed cameras.
You'd think the council would have forked out for some decent ones. |
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Q. How do you double the value of a Rover?
A. Fill it with petrol. |
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Q. What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A. A pink car nation. |
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A man goes into a service-station and asks: "Can I have a windscreen wiper for my Lada?"
"Okay," replied the man in the garage, "it seems like a fair swap". |
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Q. What's the difference between a Jehovah's Witness and a Lada?
A. You can shut the door on a Jehovah's Witness. |
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Q. What do you call a G-Wiz driver who says he has a speeding ticket?
A. A liar. |
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Q. What do you do if you see a spaceman?
A. Park your car in it, man. |
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Q. Why is Turtle Wax so expensive?
A. Because turtles have really tiny ears. |
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Q. What's the difference between a Rover and a sheep?
A. It's less embarrassing being caught getting out the back of a sheep. |
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A pair of jump leads walks into a bar.
The barman says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." |
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Somebody complimented me on my parking today.
They left a note on the windscreen -- it said 'Parking Fine'. |
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A glue tanker on the motorway has shed its load.
Drivers are advised to stick to the inside lane. |
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And now an important announcement for drivers travelling to Cardiff on the M11.
The M11 doesn't go to Cardiff. |
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I got pulled over the other day and the policeman told me to keep an eye on my speed.
I was really grateful -- I didn't notice it was falling out of my pocket. |
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